also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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