Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
