I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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