is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
