I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
