I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
