How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
