Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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