I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Hippo gnu deer
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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