Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
