S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
how does that bad decision feel?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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