Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize