Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
