Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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