I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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