I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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