love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
