Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
