Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
