Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
