I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
