Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
