How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
