i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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