I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
