Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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