I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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