she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize