weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
