i can't believe i had my finger in that
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have already put on my inside pants.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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