somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
