The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
