so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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