I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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