He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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