i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
