you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize