DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
