i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize