I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
