do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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