Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
