ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Randomize
