she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So vagazzling was a success
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
