so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
