I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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