i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
