What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
