i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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