Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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