ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
