I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
