no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
