I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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