Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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