woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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