Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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