We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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