Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
