Christians are straight up FREAKS
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
