I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
