shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
