I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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