My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
