You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
