Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
